I definitely agree with the statement that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but only because taking the time to feed yourself and make sure you are prepared for the day is incredibly important to me. The days I wake up late I feel guilty and fatigued and usually unhappy for the rest of the day.
It didn't used to be like this but now I see the importance of this "me" time of mine to my life.
Anyway, I am going to vent here because I am selfish and want pity but no one around me will give me that if I vent to them so yeah, I'm a baby and would like, for just once, for someone to sympathize with me but whatever I have a blog so I can just complain on here for a bit and get it all out, hopefully so that I don't feel like shit the rest of the day.
This morning I woke up late and wasn't able to shower, which is fine for me if I have time to do other things but I literally did not have this time at all and I just kind of rushed to get ready and didn't eat enough and the worst part is that I didn't have coffee at all. This sounds so petty but my entire day is messed up if I don't have morning coffee, because I get headaches and I stay extremely tired all day and it's just not fun.
Anyway so I went to class but I didn't check the weather because I was in a hurry so I was soooo cold outside and had no idea I would've needed a jacket and I should've just brought one but how the hell was I supposed to know..the other day it was sooo warm so I didn't expect it to take a full 180 turn and be cold again...Anyway I kinda ran to class and literally could not stay awake in my first two classes. On top of that, I guess because I was already kind of feeling awkward being the only one in the streets without warmth it felt like people were staring at me which probably wasn't true but it seemed like it.
So yeah, then I went to get something to eat because I knew I needed coffee and a snack to get through the next class so I went to a bagel place and of course there were no seats inside so I had to sit outside and was again, cold as hell...and the coffee wasn't that good ugh but I felt better and went back inside to go to class and there were seats...I was like wtf right when I'm leaving people get up OK.
ANYway, the thing that bothers me is that the reason I was so tired this morning to sleep in is that I didn't go to sleep until like 3 last night and once I fell asleep I didn't stay asleep like I just didn't sleep well and it might have been because I woke up late YESTERDAY on account of I stayed up late the night before on my phone / playing games with the roomie. So I'm like...fuck...all of this because I was irresponsible?
I really think that lifestyle is a daily process, like you can't mess up or it screws more than you want up. I try really hard to be disciplined in this but sometimes I just can't help it or like, my roommate goes to sleep at like 4 am on the daily so I feel bad if she wants to do something but I'm being lame and going to sleep you know? But like at the same time I don't wanna be tired as shit all the time...
And like, sometimes it isn't on account of my being irresponsible..like the other day my roommate was playing music really loud? so I couldn't sleep, or kept waking up because of it and I feel bad like she should be able to do what she wants but I had to sleep so idk like am i right to be angry about that? or not..i have no clue tbh.
But yeah so I'm in a terrible mood right now and really don't want to go to my MIS class because that means I have to like...talk to people and be all social and stuff and ugh I'm not in the mood to do anything but sleep and watch shows and stuff but I have homework and a test Friday and I really want to be a good student this semester but I feel like no on is on my side; I don't have friends in my classes yet, still, and I don't know people in my major who I can study with so I'm literally alone with my motivation to study and some days, like today, I don't feel like I can inspire myself enough to study.
ANyway i will shut up now thank u for listening blog
I'm annoying lol
BYE
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