Outside

Today, I spent a good deal of my day outside, where it was easily in the upper 90s, but with the humidity, it felt even hotter. Anyway, my initial motivation for spending time in the sun was to tan, which, if you know me, is nearly impossible, but I figure if I up the time I spend outdoors each day then slowly I will tan.

So I sat on a bench at a nearby park and kind of just read a book and watched the scenery and whatnot and I realized that being outdoors is really inspiring. It got me thinking about so many things that I've never considered and there was so much going through my mind at once but it wasn't overwhelming like usual- it was peaceful in a way, and felt like I was becoming more knowledgeable of the world just by observation.

I don't recall who but some man in history argued that observation was the key to learning and I'm starting to kind of agree.

Anyway I was going to put my headphones on and escape with the 1200 songs on my ipod to keep my mind busy but I ended up throwing away this idea because the sounds around me were just fine- not too distracting but not silent enough to drive me crazy. This got me thinking; these sounds are so simple and beautiful and so different from the electronics that we allow ourselves to obsess over nowadays and its interesting because if someone tried to reproduce these natural sounds like the sound of a car speeding by or a bird chirping or the grass flowing in the wind or the sound of water trickling, then it would be extremely annoying. Come to think of it, whenever songs or movies try to reproduce these songs I find that I get a huge headache or its just bothersome....

So that was one of my revelations: Sometimes the most natural things are the most calming, and you don't need an "escape from the world" to escape the world. Not sure if that makes much sense but it does to me so I'm going to leave it at that.

So as I was reading and thinking and appreciating these things, I noticed the people around me.
Honestly, I'm not much of a people person and I don't smile at people when they walk by me or whatever and I get extremely offended when people stare at me because I'm probably one of the most self conscious people I have met and idk that's just how it is.

But I noticed a certain man who was running on the circular half mile path around the park who I noticed was struggling greatly and looked tired as hell. He wasn't very fit, but in his workout shorts and oversized T-Shirt I could tell what his goal was. His back was sweaty and his posture was terrible like he had been running for days, and he often tripped over his feet and hung his head down in tire. Somehow I admired this man more than the two girls walking their dog with cute workout clothing on and perfect hair and tans and nice legs and whatnot... Because while they were gossiping and glaring at me like I was some sort of alien for reading or sitting on a bench for godsake or who knows what, this poor man was pushing himself over and over again to do another lap...another half mile...even though he was obviously dead tired.

There were other people there, of course, some running, some walking, some just admiring the lake or the park but to me, it was more interesting that a man, who could so easily give up and just stop, telling himself he's done enough for the day, could roll his eyes, take a deep breath and go another round. The beginning of the lap was probably the hardest, the way he knows he has an entire half mile left until he can take a drink, but it was probably the easiest too, being more shaded or whatnot, which really doesn't have anything to do with anything but I thought it was interesting that the most difficult time can also be the easiest.

I know I seem very creepy right now but I'm usually this observant so don't be surprised.

Anyway as I was leaving I looked at him across the park for one last time and turned away, and an interesting thought crossed my mind.

I will never see this person again. Isn't it strange how the people we encounter in our daily lives are most likely people who will only occupy a couple moments of our entire lives? We may see them a time or two again, but these people are as much a part of our lives as the grass we walk on, the roads we drive on, the air we breathe..they exist, we acknowledge them, but don't give them any real significance. But they are important. Without these little encounters like the one I had today, I wouldn't learn to observe, or appreciate the little things in life.

So I guess what I'm trying to get at is that even if it's a few minutes of your day, being outdoors or observing people or the world around you is so important. And more important is finding meaning in those little things. I find that the more meaning you find in the things that seem not to matter to you, the more you discover about life and yourself.

One last thought before I end this endless ramble of mine... Before I crawled back into the sauna of a car I was driving, I noticed a broken trashcan on the corner of the field. Above it, sitting on a pole, was a bird. I don't know why but this interested me. Right above the gross death of trash, thrown away, never to be used again, was something so alive and lively that it made me realize that life is a neverending cycle of life and death and these little things should be appreciated. Eh. That doesn't sound very profound; I apologize.

Alright, I think I am done.

Have a beautiful day, if you are reading this. And listen to The Script.