June is almost oVER?

I had so many goals at the beginning of the summer and I haven't accomplished one of them.

I am extremely disappointed in myself. Time to step it the fuck up!

traveling

Traveling has its ups and its downs, like all things, but this particular trip has made me realize a couple things about people & myself.

One thing that I absolutely despise about road trips is the fact that you spend long, miserable hours in a car, in which, for me, are spent completely carsick, where the only thing to do that doesn't result in going completely insane with agony is to sleep. Then, upon arriving, you do exactly what you came to do: relax. So, in summary, these trips are lazy as hell. The most frustrating part, however, is the fact that during this downtime, I start thinking and strangely become ambitious, finding myself making all these goals about my diet, health, commitments, and priorities that I can't begin until I get home. Even if I try to start here, I have few choices in what I am going to eat, or the activities I partake in. So I spend vacation in conflict, unable to enjoy the single reason families get away from home, to relax.

Then there are the pictures. Besides the fact that in most of them, my eyes are squinted, hair greasy, face make up free, and skin burnt, looking at the pictures makes me realize how unhappy I am with my body. If only I had worked out more earlier! I keep thinking, which again leads to those useless ambitions and goals that tire me out so that when I return home, all I really want to do is relax. But... isn't that the point of vacation...

I realize this all seems extremely negative and I'm not going to lie I did have that mindset on my vacation but at the same time I had a lot of fun. I was able to get away and relax and be with nature and just not worry about anything else and it was honestly really, really nice. I want to go back now that I'm faced with all these responsibilities again and I hate it.

So I guess it's true that it takes a little stress to get something good out of an experience.

Mixed Feelings

Okay, I know and have seen first hand the bad effects of drinking and smoking and whatnot, and every time I hear about people who smoked or drank in their past they are always trying to quit or give advice to those younger than them to never start. So duh, why would I do that right?

Well lately I have been thinking about it and honestly I just want to get drunk, even if just once, for the experience. I want to know if I'm fun, or a crier, or if I become really fucking hilarious or whatever...and I think it'd be fun to be drunk.

On top of that, for some reason when I see pictures of guys smoking on tumblr or whatever, I can't help but find it attractive. Something about the 'bad boy' image is intriguing I guess idk but anyway I know I'm not going to drink or smoke but I just wish it didn't have bad effects because I want to.

Whatever lol idk???

Keep Your Word.

If you say you're going to move on, move on.
And then let ME move on.

Stop fucking commenting on my happiness with your sneers and your sarcasm.

I'm allowed to be happy after you. I don't need you; you don't need me, so stop paying so much attention to what I say about other people and leave me the fuck alone.

My life has nothing to do with you anymore, you made that 100% clear. So stay out of it and shut the fuck up.

Korean Drama Rec List

Below are most of the dramas that I have watched. The ones that are not included are those that I only watched one or two episodes of and never got around to continuing them. The key is as follows:

bold: highly recommended
underline: currently watching or never finished
italics: highly not recommended

Keep in mind that these are my personal preferences and I explain why I disliked/liked all of the dramas at the bottom underneath the list. I hope you find this helpful if you're looking for a drama to watch and entertaining if you are an avid drama watcher like me. Also keep in mind that while this isn't an extensive number of dramas, I have watched my fair share of them...I'm not going to review each drama just explain what I liked or disliked about them. If you're looking for a summary of the drama google it :)  Feel free to disagree or ask me questions or whatever in the comments, or contact me at my tumblr :)

To see the list, "Read More"!

Someone...

If I'm ever going to find someone who I'm meant to be with or whatever, I really hope he's fun.
Like...intelligent when it comes down to something serious or intellectual, but someone I can be stupid and weird with and it not be awkward or annoying.
I'm realizing that the 'perfect guy' is probably not going to be someone who is 'perfect' but someone who is perfect for me.

Favorite Songs

To be honest, I think the songs that will stick with me the longest are the ones I don't share with people. Those songs by unknown bands that you fell in love with for the music...not the band members or the influence from friends or its popularity but for the way it makes you feel. You don't have to explain yourself to other people about why you like these songs, or even tell people that theyre your favorite. And you may have other temporary favorites along the way but these songs are forever. I have a couple of songs like these and when I hear them, I feel most..myself.