Yup.

Music is a good replacement for a relationship.
Works like a charm.

Alone Again

I think night time is the worst....I start to feel useless and annoying and lonely all at once when it gets dark and I'm left alone with my laptop and my messy room..

My friends contact me but
it's not like they really want to talk to me

I kind of miss the days where people would rush to text me when something good happened in their life...at least then I could be excited for them even if I'm not currently excited for myself about anything.

Oh well anyways back to watching kdramas or doing something completely unproductive.

Goodbye for now~

Lonely

Tonight, I feel lonely.

Not so much in the way that I need someone right next to me right now or that I even want to talk to someone but more that I don't even feel comfortable around myself right now.

I feel mad, hurt, cheated, annoyed, disappointed, guilty, jealous, and alone...

But to be honest, I'm so used to feeling like this that it's almost comfortable in a way. But today, for some reason, I want it to change.

Can't I just be in love with someone? I want to feel that. I want to love someone so much it's physically painful. But instead, I'm just left with feelings of resentment and regret and it's upsetting. I watch so many dramas, hoping that I can feel pain in the way the characters do when they love but instead I feel pain trying to love like them.

I can't do it, and I don't know why.

Why can't I love anyone?

I can't even remember the last time my heart fluttered because of someone who wasn't on the television screen. Someone told me I'm a hopeless romantic. It made me laugh, because it's probably true. But I can't find the least bit of romance in me besides my obsession with Korean dramas.

I just want to love...why is that so difficult.......................................