This morning I realized I really didn't have anything to do today besides study and do homework, so I thought I would go find a nice place to sit and read on campus to do this. However, campus was a lot quieter than usual and it made me somewhat uncomfortable. Nonetheless I found a spot and tried to study and didn't really get a lot done because I was distracted by all the little things going on around me. I guess because things were for the most part kind of quiet, any movement or noise called my attention.
Anyway there was this huge tree that had been kind of dug up (?). Basically they cut a hole around it so you could see deeper into the tree than just the part coming up from the ground. I'm not sure why or how they did this or even who did this but it was kind of interesting to me because I didn't know that tree trunks extended so far deeper into the earth; I kind of assumed their roots were right below the surface or something but this tree's trunk was a lot longer and I wondered how far exactly it went into the earth before it became roots. Lately I've been assuming everything is metaphorical so I was thinking about it and it's kind of funny how sometimes things are a lot 'deeper' than we make them; problems are a lot worse than we think, there's a lot more to some people than we assume, things are not always as they seem I guess.
Anyway so this got me thinking about myself and what kind of a person I am on the outside, as opposed to what's "hidden underneath." I think on the outside I appear to be very vulnerable, gullible and kind of just a shy, not very friendly person. But there's a lot more to me than that. I think even I have begun to think of myself as being this kind of person so much so that I have forgotten the true person I am.
I'm not vulnerable, rather, I try to accept the good in people and I try my hardest to make sure that I am not making someone uncomfortable or angry. I do my best to get on people's good sides. Is that me being vulnerable? I'm not sure. But I'm beginning to think that it doesn't matter. Why do I need to give a name to a certain aspect of myself? Maybe instead of "gullible" I am just a person who gives people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe instead of me being someone who is "cynical" I am a person who tries to accept reality for what it is instead of getting my hopes up and finding disappointment?
It's kind of ironic that today, Lee Changsub tweeted a song recommendation, Tasha's "Black Happiness" because a lyric in that song goes, "You gotta be strong, you gotta hold on and love yourself." The whole song is talking about being ashamed of her skin color, or just being ashamed of who you are and her resolution is that you just have to "be strong and love yourself." I think that, along with my observation of the tree has made me realize that instead of profiling certain aspects of yourself and ignoring the truth behind them, instead of focusing on the aspects of yourself that other people can see and ignoring the aspects of yourself that really truly define you, we should be focusing on the aspects of ourselves that make us who we are, and make us a person that we can love. Because they say if you can't love yourself, no one will.
This kind of just proves how the little things that Changsub does have big impacts on my life and the way I view life itself, and also that nature is sometimes most honest.
Anyway, those are just things that have been floating through my head today so I thought I would write them down.
If you are reading this, listen to Tasha's song and LIVE IT!
Showing posts with label self-reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-reflection. Show all posts
Monday, September 2, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Best Advice I've Heard
Quick Update: Registering for classes made me realize how important it is to be prepared and have back up plans beforehand if things don't go your way. Now I'm in Waco, TX with my sister and so far it's been very relaxing, mainly because it isn't nearly as busy here.
Anyway, I met a friend during Orientation and we were talking, and I wondered why it was so easy for her to befriend people and be humble about it. "How are you so likeable?" I asked.
This is what she answered:
Once you realize that no one is perfect, you can be a friend to anyone.
Pondering this made me realize that I, myself, have suffered from judging people by the little things about them that I disagree with. They might be people I could become close friends with, but if there's one thing that I don't like, I call it a "deal-breaker" and don't even attempt at a relationship.
Now that I think about it this is a terrible excuse to not become friends with someone and I think it may be the reason that I have a hard time being close to people.
Once we accept that people are different and everyone has their quirks and mistakes, we can literally accept anyone as a friend.
Okay last thing. So at Orientation they asked us to like, stand up for which statements we agreed with or related to and they read a list of statements and one of them was "Are you homophobic."
No one stood up. Not meaning no one was a homophobe...but rather no one admitted to it.
It's interesting that the things that are hardest for us to admit are things that may offend other people. Sure, everyone is entitled to an opinion but when that opinion disagrees with someone else's lifestyle, it becomes "controversial."
Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this. Shouldn't we be comfortable enough in our opinions to be able to admit to them? Why do we have to hide our opinions because it may disagree with someone else's?
I'm not saying I am homophobic nor that I am not, but the fact that no one admitted to it, yet people admitted to self-harm, being ashamed of their body, etc, was really interesting.
People admit their insecurities about themselves, but not about other people? Maybe this is exactly why we judge people so much. We aren't even comfortable enough in our own opinions to accept other peoples'.
Anyway, I met a friend during Orientation and we were talking, and I wondered why it was so easy for her to befriend people and be humble about it. "How are you so likeable?" I asked.
This is what she answered:
Once you realize that no one is perfect, you can be a friend to anyone.
Pondering this made me realize that I, myself, have suffered from judging people by the little things about them that I disagree with. They might be people I could become close friends with, but if there's one thing that I don't like, I call it a "deal-breaker" and don't even attempt at a relationship.
Now that I think about it this is a terrible excuse to not become friends with someone and I think it may be the reason that I have a hard time being close to people.
Once we accept that people are different and everyone has their quirks and mistakes, we can literally accept anyone as a friend.
Okay last thing. So at Orientation they asked us to like, stand up for which statements we agreed with or related to and they read a list of statements and one of them was "Are you homophobic."
No one stood up. Not meaning no one was a homophobe...but rather no one admitted to it.
It's interesting that the things that are hardest for us to admit are things that may offend other people. Sure, everyone is entitled to an opinion but when that opinion disagrees with someone else's lifestyle, it becomes "controversial."
Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this. Shouldn't we be comfortable enough in our opinions to be able to admit to them? Why do we have to hide our opinions because it may disagree with someone else's?
I'm not saying I am homophobic nor that I am not, but the fact that no one admitted to it, yet people admitted to self-harm, being ashamed of their body, etc, was really interesting.
People admit their insecurities about themselves, but not about other people? Maybe this is exactly why we judge people so much. We aren't even comfortable enough in our own opinions to accept other peoples'.
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